Contemplating Medication

For many parents of kids with autism, there comes a time when they have to consider medication for their child. No, there is no cure for autism, but there are drugs that treat the anxiety and attention deficit that often accompanies autism.

That time for consideration arrived for us recently when psychologists who evaluated our son suggested that Kai might benefit from being on medication.

An exuberant personality

If I were to describe my son to someone who did not know him, the first word I would use would not be autistic. No, I would describe him as exuberant.

When Kai was two years old and did not speak or react to people, it was hard to imagine that such a personality was hidden inside. But as he started to emerge from the shell of his autism, it became apparent that he was a child with big emotions. 

Even before he could express himself well, his bright smile and boisterous laughter spoke of the passion he had inside.  And the more he gained the ability to speak, the more he became quite the chatterbox, enthusiastically prattling on about topics that were of interest only to him.

Of course, when he gets upset, Kai’s emotions are just as intense in the other direction, as he often explodes with anger.

It is not easy dealing up with a child with such strong emotions.  It is a challenge keeping up with his boundless energy. When he is chatting nonstop about some element of the periodic table, it is hard to maintain interest. After a long day, when he is still tirelessly running around, we sometimes wish that he would take a break. 

It was suggested that Kai’s “energy” was hindering his ability to stay focused on schoolwork and being able to complete tasks without interruptions. The professionals who evaluated our son thought that medication might help.

Considering medication

The thing about medication, though, is that there are no guarantees.  There are no sure-fire drugs that work well on every child. Some kids may have very positive results, while others will suffer side effects or have other unwanted reactions. And even when the effects are initially positive, that could change over time.

We worried about our son becoming dependent on the drugs.  We wondered if it would really be something that is good for his body.  We considered whether continuing without drugs, and relying primarily on a therapeutic approach, would be better for our son in the long run.

But, we also felt that if there was a decent chance that drugs could help him perform better in school, we needed to give them a try. So, with much angst, we decided to proceed with medication.

Early results

So far, it is hard to see any beneficial effects. What is noticeable is that Kai is much more tired and lethargic than before.

He is quieter, particularly in the morning. He doesn’t run around as much. He seems to have no energy at times. He hasn’t even gotten on his once since .

Worst of all, we don’t see his smile as often.

I know that we have to give medication time to work. Sometimes the doctor has to tweak the drugs until he finds a combination that works for your particular child.

But if the tradeoff to having a calmer child means not getting to see that smile so often, well, I’m not sure I want to do that. This quiet, lethargic boy is not the Kai I know. I want the boy with all that exuberance. 

And, if I have him back, I promise I won’t complain about having to keep up with him.