This shows who you are. Not who Carly is. Why do you think judging and condemning her is ok? Have never made mistakes? Sure Carly's mistake had much more fatal consequences. But are you forgetting that she is a human too, she feels pain too. I'm almost positive Carly did not wake up one morning thinking to kill another human being. You are throwing many rocks ebuddha. Does talking about this child as though she is a monster make you feel any better? Does hoping she get "35+ years in the clink" help you sleep better at night? You are running on a lot of hate. Did Carly ever hurt you?
I didn't think so.
May God bless you, you clearly need some love in your life.

Some people enjoy slinging mud. It's a real shame.

this shows that carly is clearly a troubled teen. there are million teens in america posting much worse yet u are obsessed with this one girls mistake. im sorry but do you know either family on a personal level? were you there when the accident happened? who are you to judge?

Or conversely it could show a teen engaging in some lighthearted tomfoolery... Pretending to be a beach model, or flipping someone the bird... Who knows? Ms. Russo and perhaps the photographer. So unless you were the photographer, or Ms. Russo told you what she had in mind when those photos were taken, how do you know? Who are you to judge?

Yeah, the editor of this article should have been a little smarter than to include that Paul Dean nonsense about marijuana being a gateway drug. I'll bet dollars to donuts that Carly has also binged on candy before. Sugar must also be a gateway drug, by Dean's logic.

Forest, why do you feel a need to try and equalize the effects on the two families?

The Santos-Sacramento family was out for a stroll on a lovely day.

Meanwhile, a train wreck that had been in the making for years, possibly a decade, drove down the street and destroyed the Santos-Sacramento family.

A totally avoidable situation if the Rousso family were not so messed up. Why do you feel the need to assume they 'are good parents'? Clearly they were NOT.

To take such a casual approach is to close your eyes to the fact that there are similar train wrecks in the making within our community right now - and let's parents off the hook. Until every family and every parent takes seriously these problems of substance abuse among their children, we are all at risk when we walk down the street.

Well said!

Forest - you actually sound like a great father. What this community needs are more parents that are aware and thoughtful, as you seem to be.

What this community also needs is to start getting serious about the fact that substance abuse is a BIG problem - you point out two recent examples; others include last week's situation in Skokie where a Winnetka Village Trustee was pulled over for DUI and was beligerant with the officers; and prior to that, i believe another child was struck by a DUI in Skokie (i'm not from Skokie, btw).

Awareness of the problem and serious consequences are the solution. Consequences include the criminal and legal system. But consequences should also include public outrage and condemnation - similar to Old West Stockades or a Scarlett Letter.

@ebuddha
I am not trying to equalize the effects in any manner. As stated, the loss of innocent Jaclyn is a tragedy that as a parent I cannot even imagine. Is every parent a good parent? I think every parent wants to be and no doubt at times, we all fail. You are correct as I do not know the Rousso's and certainly their private life can be completely different than their public life. All families have some issues...what is the saying...you can choose your friends but not your family? I would like to think that they are parents like me, wanting nothing but the best for their children and that they faced a difficult situation with Carly that would test any of our parenting skills. I would also think that this is a tragedy for them as parents, as a family and as humans who also mourn the senseless loss of Jaclyn. If they had known such a thing was going to happen, no doubt they would have taken any action possible to avoid it. Again, as parents we all make mistakes and have regrets.

Drugs are an issue for evey parent and as stated, I can only hope that I find a way as a parent to help my children resist through self confidence, team sports, family interaction, love and support giving them the ability to just say no.

It is also not just children, remember both the Mayor of Highwood and the President of Ravinia have both been charged with DUI's in the last year as well as other's in our community. These actions by "responsible adults" also put innocent people at risk.

@ ebuddha: what's wrong with Forest or anyone else sympathizing with the Rousso family as while their loss certainly isn't a permanent one, it's 15 or so years that probably won't be spent with their daughter. Why can't we mourn their loss, as well as that of Jaclyn's family? I can't imagine the devastation I'd feel if one of my children were to commit such a horrific crime and I remind myself every day that I can't be with them everywhere they go, that my only hope is that they retain some of the good sense that I try to instill in them on a daily basis - but am I (or the Rousso's) to blame if they don't?? In all honesty, I don't think it's for you to judge as you probably don't know them any better than I do. Having said that, dare we discuss the parental skills and type of people the Santo-Sacramento's are?? Who's to say that while they've experience the worse loss imaginable, how do we know that everything that goes on behind their closed doors is on the up&up?? The answer is that we don't; therefore we shouldn't discuss and make accusations about them any more than we should with the Rousso's.

Anonymous - i'll tell you what wrong with sympathizing with the Rousso family: THEY BROUGHT THIS UPON THEMSELVES AS WELL AS THE VICTIM'S FAMILY!! Don't you get it?

For this victims, this situation fell from the sky out of the blue.
For the Rousso family, this is a situation that has been 18 years in the making.
It didn't just start when Carly got hooked on various things (drinking, drugs, other substances) - it started with the way she was raised since a child.

As a standard policy, i do not have sympathy for people who suffer because of their own mistakes.

"As a standard policy, i do not have sympathy for people who suffer because of their own mistakes."

This is an excellent example of the difference between a fully actualized person with the capacity for empathy and one who is not.

@ ebuddha: Question: who was driving the car, Carly or her parents? Were her parents in the car with her? And at what age are they not responsible for her actions? How do you know how she was raised? Who's to say that no one in the Sacramento family has ever driven impaired? Who's to say that they haven't done anything far more sinister? ...all I'm saying is that one family's had a child run over and killed and another family has a daughter who's responsible for the killing - and that's truly all any of us know about either family and that's all that should be said ,so please, unless you have a sixth sense, don't denigrate the Rousso's and the sympathy that's extended to them.

Evan - at least we understand each other now.

I'll happily take a society where we all help each other out - as long as we're all (a) taking personal responsibility for ourselves (b) contributing in a positive way to the community and (c) not doing harm to others.

When someone does harm to themselves or others, the person/people casuing the harm should be dealth with harshly and suffer the consequences.

Enough of powder-puffing around the issue. In the words of a t-shirt that was common a decade or so ago:

See Dick Drink.
See Dick Drive.
See Dick Die.
DON'T BE A DICK.

Anonymous-

you ask 'were her parents in the car with her'? they weren't - but they should have been.

you ask 'how do i know how she was raised'? simply observe who she is today.

you ask 'who is to say that noone in the Sacramento family haven't done anything far more sinister'? I can't believe i'm even going to dignify this with a response, but i'll simply point out that the Sacramento family did not harm anyone in this situation but suffered a great loss that was no fault of their own. Who they are is of nobody's concern until they ruin someone else's life.

you conclude with 'do not denigrate the Roussos and the sympathy that's extended to them'. I do not know the Roussos. My comments are not intended to be directed specifically at them, but to discuss the situation in more general terms as a point of discussion for train wrecks that are currently in the making. Nothing can turn back to clock. Carly and her family's story has been written. We can analyze what may have led to this tradegy in the hopes that similar accidents can be avoided. As with most accidents, the follow-up usually reveals fairly obvious events that caused the accident that in hind-sight seem easily avoided. In this case, i think that the signs were probably brewing for a decade. Hopefully this situation gains enough attention that others may see similar situations developing in their family or community and seek to make changes to avoid a similar tradegy in their own lives.

if i need to explain that to you, you are clearly part of the problem.

Ebuddha, your logical fallacy is: http://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/ad-hominem.

For my benefit (so I can stop being part of the problem) and for the benefit of others, why don't you actually explain how public and anonymous venting and condemnation, similar to stockades and Scarlet letters, is an effective deterrent to anti social behavior?

I was just in Venice and took a pvt tour of Dogge's Palace. Our guide showed us the square where criminals would be hung or held in a stockade for certain crimes. The last thing those people saw was the clock tower in the square.....to this day, grandmothers get the kids in line by saying 'behave or i'll show you the clock'.

I'm personally opposed to capital punishment (and i don't want to derail this conversation into that), but it seems when the punishment was more public, the community took more seriously the avoidance of crime.

Our community seems to be very casual about substance abuse among teens and adults. I think everyone needs to wake up and be aware of how widespread the problem is and how serious the consequences are. In the case of DUI and no damage done, the punishment is pretty light - considering that with a small change in circumstances, people are killed.

In one of the articles on this tradegy, it said that 'in the case of a death, the perp always does time' - i think every DUI should do time. Also, everyone should be aware of who the abusers are so we can avoid them or even help them. Allowing them to lurk in the shadows does not do anyone any good.

People continue to abuse substances because they feel they are getting away with it because they haven't been caught by the law, or they are only given a slap on the wrist when they get caught. But if they faced outrage and condemnation from their neighbors, they may think twice.

You did not provide any evidence that public venting and condemnation has any effect on behavior. All you did was provide more anecdotal stories of how horrible you think things are. Let me give you some actual data that you might ponder, Alcohol impaired driving fatalities in Illinois are down 41% since 2000 and down 49% amongst people under 21. What does this suggest to you?

i guess someone that refers to themselves as a 'real estate scientist' needs numbers - the Fed is about to announce, so i'm about to start getting busy - but i'll be back to you with some facts.

Chilawyer: you are a voice of sanity in this conversation.

It does not matter what people want to think or say - the results speak for themselves. The net result of 18 years of parenting is that their substance addicted duaghter killed a 5 year old girl.

People need to stop sugar coating this and get real.
Parents, from the time their children are born, need to be part of the solution - which means being involved in your childrens' lives, developing their self-esteem in a positive way and being strict about what influences they are exposed to.

She's an addict. Huffing while driving mere weeks after having returned from residential rehab. To be that desperate for such a dirty high she must be a severely broken individual. I don't think it was a "decision" for her in the traditional sense of the word. It's not like "hmm should I have the cobb salad or the caesar?". It's more like, "Should I get high right now or should I be sober and have to think about the fact that I'm the sort of person that is seriously considering getting high in the middle of the day by huffing a can of computer cleaner while driving through beautiful downtown highland park full of people who are clearly much saner, stable, and smart than me, while in the car my dad lent me..." To the addict not much of a decision at all.

So for the sake of discussion, assume that Carly's parents did do everything that responsible parents would do. We know at least that they had sent her to rehab. THEN would you consider this a tragedy for the Rousso family as well?

Knowing that they tried to do what they thought was right for their daughter and so disastrously failed? Knowing that their failure killed a child? Knowing that their daughter is not only a mentally and emotionally weak drug addict but now also a killer and most likely a convicted felon soon to be jailed?

And don't give me any of that bs that some posters on this site write about "they should have let her sit in jail the first time she was arrested for marijuana possession", "if she was my daughter I would have kicked her out of my house", "tough love". That's a moron's understanding of psychology. God forbid any of those people have kids with mental health issues. Their attitude would be more likely to turn them into heroin addicts living on the street than to reform them.

Anonymous - most of my comments have been about the 'cause'. I've not mentioned the victims other than to say they did nothing to contribute to the harm done to them (ie had they been jay-walking AND a drunk driver ran them over, one could look at both parties as having been partly to blame).

Your perspective does however seem very very very strange. In one breath you say you're not accusing the Sacramento family of anything (GEE, HOW BIG OF YOU); but in the next breath you posit the possibilty that they could beat or molest their children? Why even talk like that - what is the matter with you? Anyone who might have agreed with you that BOTH families deserve sympathy or empathy are now running for the hills.

Again you wonder if its possible that the Roussos are great parents with a bad daughter. I'm not sure if you realize this, but being a 'great parent' means 'raising good kids'. I do not see how it is possible to be considered a 'great parent' and have a drug addicted child than runs over innocent people. If the accident was truly an ACCIDENT, I might agree that the parents had no responsibility. But this wasn't an 'accident'. Someone who news reports claim has had substance abuse problems was behind the wheel of a car without supervision accompanied only by a can of 'cleaner'. It seems to me that this was a totally avoidable situation and not an accident. Again, I'm only speaking in general terms, based off what has been reported.

Anonymous - where do you find in any comment on any article related to this mess where anyone 'compared the two families' and judged 'who are the better parents'?

the comments have centered on the 'bad parenting' of one family producing a 'substance abusing teen driving under the influence' and the damange done to another family as a result.

you are the one who continues to want to discuss the Sacramento's family/parenting - which is completely irrelevant to this situation because it was not a factor in causing this tradegy -- whereas, the parenting and actions of the Rousso's most clearly are a factor and hence deserve consideration.

please show me where i or anyone else has compared the parenting between the two families, otherwise, do not make statements as you just have suggesting that i have made such a comparison - i have not.

clearly you do know Carly and her parents and as a result you are making irrational statements out of the grief you feel. you are trying to equalize the two sides as best you can but you need to accept that one side caused the situation and the other side was an innocent victim.

Anonymous, you are absolutely right, Carly is not a bad person, just a young person who made a terrible mistake. Like any other drunk or drug addict who has wantonly slaughtered a young child with her parents' luxury car and left the child's blood running in the gutter, Carly deserves our sympathy and understanding. Let us know when you start her defense fund, I'll put a penny in (and take $10 out for Jaclyn's family).

absolutely not.
you are clearly wrong and too close to the situation and not seeing things clearly.

Being a good parent does not mean instilling a sense of entitlement, which Carly's parents have done. It does not mean letting your drug addicted daughter drive your car. It does not mean bailing your daughter out of jail when she has killed someone. What a good parent does is let their child feel the consequences of their choices.

Social Justice

While at this stage of these blogs, I usually stay away as they tend to transcend into something I choose purposefully to avoid, I do have a couple of comments:

You said, “being a good parent does not mean instilling a sense of entitlement, which Carley's parents clearly have done." How do you know that or is that just a WAA? (Wild Ass Assumption). Look, some adults in our area act and feel entitled.

I see some kids that cry when anything does not go just their way or call mommy on their cell anytime they do not get their way, talk to their nanny's like the nanny is their personal slave or are just plain mean. These are parent created entitlement issues among their children perhaps excessively spoiled or parents that just do not have time for the kids therefore, giving them anything they want so as a parent they do not have to deal. That sir, is poor parenting. We do not, at least I personally do not, know anything about the Rousso family so I cannot judge them as readily as you seem to.

If you are indeed a parent, are you saying in similar circumstances you would not bail out your daughter? She will have plenty of hard time and the rest of her life to feel the consequences and rightfully so! One can even argue that the punishment is not equal to the crime and should be more severe, nonetheless she is still someone’s daughter. I would be devastated, humiliated and angry as a parent but would still unquestionably love my daughter.

i disagree - i think whether you are a 'good' parent or a 'bad' parent is measured by the children you produce - similar to determing if you are a good pitcher is measure by your ERA or a good batter by your batting avg.

maybe there are some rare exceptions, but i'm not sure how a 'good' parent raises a drug addict.

i'm not talking about what happens to children once they become adults. i'm talking abuot children while they are still at home.