The Best Valentine’s Day Present

Valentine’s Day 2004: My wife went into labor while walking along Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago.  

She wasn’t my wife at the time, though. It would be two years before I would meet her.

* * * * *

Rika had just found out that she was pregnant when her husband was diagnosed with cancer. Kevin passed away only a few months later, several weeks before their baby was to be born.

Words cannot adequately describe the anguish of losing the love of your life during what was supposed to be one of your happiest times. Suffice it to say that it was traumatic and stressful.

Of course, it wasn’t just Rika who suffered, but all of Kevin’s family. And it says a lot that they mustered all of their strength in their own time of grief to support this woman who was in such a fragile state.

They brought her home to Chicago, where they could look after her, and so she wouldn’t be alone.

Rika had visited the area, but never lived here before. It was far from her native Tokyo. But it was to be her new home.

* * * * *

On Valentine’s Day, friends persuaded her to go downtown. It would be good for her to get out, they thought.

It was still a few weeks before she was due. So, it was a surprise when her water broke. 

With her friends’ help, she made it over to a nearby hospital. Several hours later, her son was born.

Kai was Kevin’s last, best Valentine’s present.

* * * * *

Yet there were times when he did not feel like a gift.

Kai was not an easy baby. He was colicky. He did not sleep well. He cried all the time.

Over time, Rika noticed other things. He did not respond to her. He made no eye contact. He lined up toys but did not play with them. He did not speak. 

She saw all the signs. Kai must have autism, she thought. But when the official diagnosis came, it was just about too much for her.

This gift of a child that everyone said would bring joy back into her life was now a source of further pain. Living in an unfamiliar city, in a country not her own, trying to raise a child without her partner and now knowing that the child has autism, Rika felt a despair that few of us can truly understand.  

* * * * *

Sometimes you don’t realize how strong you are until you are faced with adversity. In Rika’s case, she was pushed to her limit.

She took the confirmation of Kai’s autism hard, but she did not give up. She sought treatments and therapy for her son; she learned all she could about autism.

I came along about that time. 

I saw an amazing woman, one who could use a bit of help, but who had a lot of love to give.

And I met a little boy who won my heart the first time he laughed at my silly attempts to play with him. 

I joined Rika in learning about autism, and we teamed up to try to make a good life for Kai. It wasn’t long before she and I married, and I adopted Kai.

We became a family. 

In the years since, Kai has come a long way. So too have we as a family. There are plenty of challenges, but I cannot imagine a better life.

Chocolates are quickly consumed. Flowers wilt after a few days. 

But the wonder of a child, the joy he provides, and the love he generates every day is truly lasting and precious.  

And on this Valentine’s Day, I cannot imagine a better gift than that.