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A Bizarre Fire Starter and Unwanted Home Improvements

A look at weird crimes in the northern Chicago suburbs.

Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt.

Extreme makeovers gone wild

Someone entered a fenced-in Buffalo Grove backyard, pulled a small tree out of the ground and pulled up three pavers and placed them elsewhere in the yard. Elsewhere in Buffalo Grove, a resident reported that someone entered his backyard, removed a bag of fertilizer from under the deck and spread it. In addition, the basketball hoop and decorative lighting was moved.

Police initially suspected the couch had angered the Sun God

Northfield police and fire fighters responded to a fire on the couch of a condo. They determined that the magnifying effect of sunlight and a glass mirror may have caused paper left on the couch to catch on fire, police said.

Good grinches make bad neighbors

A Buffalo Grove man told police that someone cut a strand of outdoor Christmas lights and that he suspects a neighbor who had asked him why he was decorating his house when no one else in the neighborhood was doing so.

Santa regrets plan to temporarily stash gifts in garage

A Buffalo Grove resident told police that while cleaning out his garage he found a green bicycle. The resident asked his neighbors and his kids if anyone knew whose bike it was, but no one knew. The bike was placed into property at police headquarters. 

Man discovers that non sequiturs make him 50% more creepy

A Northfield resident reported a male subject drove by and yelled at her daughter on four separate occasions. The resident told police the man yelled things such as “sweaty banana” and “wiener schnitzel.” 

b garrett December 23, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Well. As the policeman said. There is no law against buying someone else's used chewing gum...
Mrs. H December 23, 2012 at 08:27 pm
Wonder if its against the law to make Schwette Balls for Xmas in Northfield. Hmmmm. They sure are good.
Nancy December 23, 2012 at 09:17 pm
If the Buffalo Grove man with the cut lights was named Griswold... there might be an explanation!

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Joe June 14, 2013 at 10:19 pm
What's an assault weapon Janna ?
Stu Pidasso June 15, 2013 at 02:10 am
Joe, your funny!! Assault Weapon... at a bar or on a date? I know some guys that have a dead weaponRead More when they try to assault :)
Ernest Makkai June 17, 2013 at 07:12 am
How do you conceal a four feet long assault weapon?
sibuna June 11, 2013 at 12:05 pm
Really? The community is going to be "shocked?" You assume an entire community not only isRead More interested in cosmetics, but that they are so interested in cosmestics that they are going to be "shocked" by an incredible team of experts. Dramatic much? Recommend
Sheryl Dineen June 12, 2013 at 11:48 am
How can I email this article to someone?
Rep. Brad Schneider chats with WYC Cmdr. Jack Orlov at boat blessing.  Credit, Ed Collins
Ed Collins June 10, 2013 at 10:12 am
When reading my story above you probably are wondering why I didn't use customary paragraphs inRead More composing this article. The fact is I did! However, those AOL/Patch software designers who recently put this new format together didn't allow for paragraphs, boldfacing and some other essential typographical aids that make stories more readable. I have no idea why. Hopefully this oversight will soon be corrected. Ed Collins, Contributor
Dan Jenks June 11, 2013 at 10:16 am
Ed, I completely agree with your format comment - eliminating paragraphs and other aids makesRead More articles much less readable. Jacob, why the change? It isn't like you have to spend more money on printing pages. Please address.