The Rise of the Professional Parent

I'm not a parent but, like everyone, I've been around a lot of them and I thought this post was a great one. It's from a co-worker, Steve Karras, on those know-it-all parents.

If you think that there’s nothing more annoying than a backseat driver, think again. Become a parent and you’ll soon encounter the worst kind of know-it-all, no less quick to overwhelm you with a world of unsolicited advice and unfair judgment about how you should raise your child.

Let’s call them “the professional parent,” experts each and every one of them—so they say—on where to find the best pediatricians, the most effective methods of sleeping, how to toilet train, the best books, the safest car-seats, how to entertain with classical music, the highest quality of organic baby food, and schools. And, it doesn’t take much to prompt them either. All you need is a baby in tow and a moment of eye-contact. 

They’re the re-incarnation of your least favorite university professors, who harangued you for sport. But it’s not just a case of overzealous pedants (hmmmm “parent-dants”?). No, these parents didn’t have to matriculate through a PhD program to know that theirs is the only way and that you’re doing everything wrong. All they did was become parents themselves. So why isn’t everyone like this? 

“There are people who have certain ideas about parenting, but don’t push it on other people," said Dr. Howard Segal, a Chicago-area psychiatrist.

“And then there are those who feel that they are superior enough to push their beliefs or criticize others for not following it."

Of course, it's not news that people have strong ideas on parenting. There are growing trends among newbie moms and dads who choose to embrace far-out methods of child-rearing, like “elimination communication,” the diaper-free method of toilet training. There is also Waldorf-style child-rearing, which involves no recorded music, no TV, no competitive environment, and prohibition of manufactured toys. Then there are those who will let their kid do anything except walk off a cliff or run into traffic.

But, it’s the ones who berate you for not following suit that, as Sam Kinison used to say, “turn Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist.”

“There’s grandiosity about them,” Segal said. “It could be part of a narcissistic personality, theoretically bi-polar disorder. But it’s not unlike people who are overly aggressive politically or religiously."

Still, before you resort to violence when encountering this insufferable lot—many have less restraint with their opinions than those afflicted with Tourette’s syndrome—know this: they don’t really care if you agree or disagree. The sound of their “advice” reassures them that they made all the right choices and that their extraordinary kids will be better than yours. They’re not trying to help you win a parent of the year award, they’re just trying to make sure you know they deserve one.

For more stories like this, visit Highland Park's very own Web2Carz.